Before I was born....

There was a woman who was married with three kids. Her husband was off in the airforce fighting in Vietnam. She found herself pregnant, scared, with a husband who could easily lose his temper. She went through this pregnancy knowing that in the end she would say goodbye to that baby. That baby was me. (Side note here, babies that are given up dont have a voice. They can't choose anything, babies are born helpless. If I had been given a voice I would have chosen to stay with my mama. I would have taken the good and the bad.) I was born one night very late and the next morning my mother literally ran away from the hospital and left me. alone. So begins my life the way I know it. This action of my mother giving me up has affected me in every day life. Made healthy relationships difficult. I have imbedded in me this deep fear of being left. I hang on to relationships with talons that push into others so much that it hurts them. It leaves us all scarred in the end.